The meaning of life

Yes, this time I wish to discuss the meaning of life. Yep. I know this has been done many times, so just shut up and listen!!! The meaning of life is the mere fact that life has no meaning. Yep thats the meaning of life! That's it! Life has no meaning! MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
All of these freakin' philosophers and stupid people are wasting their miserable lives pondering the meaning of life--WHEN THERE IS NO FREAKIN' MEANING OF LIFE!!! None! That's whats so good about life! IT HAS NO MEANING!!! Thats it! DUH!

Note about the time

To everybody, I have just realized the time problem. The time it says that i post my blogs is three hours behind each time. I am currently trying to fix this little problem.

Buy the book, or bad things will happen...

To whoever reads this, BUY THIS BOOK! Go to Amazon.com right now and order a copy of "The Echo of Death" by Daniel Gaultney. It is great! Buy it! Buy it! Buy it!

Duty Calls

BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP!

Russ woke up instantly from his doze and picked up the transmitter that was making that horrible noise.

"What now?" Russ groaned. He answered it.

"Striker! You there?!"

"What is it trooper?" Russ asked.

"You gotta get down here to the Bravo base! Were pinned down! I repeat, were pinned down!" The trooper screamed.

"Oh no," Russ groaned.

"A huge mob of triots just stormed the base! There everywhere! Our captain's dead! Well...were pretty much hosed sir! Were all gonna die! Requesting immediate assistance!

"I'm going in!" Russ said. He grabbed all his equipment & armour then made like a fetus and head out. He jumped into his emergency jet, which he was using a lot lately, cranked up the engine and get r' done!

Seven minutes and 28 seconds later Russ touched ground at Bravo base, grabbed his mini M37 shotgun and his AKs-74u and went into commando/but-kicking mode and let her rip.

The triots that were attacking were huge and vicious monsters that looked like a cross between a scorpion and a chimaera(if you don't know what a chimaera is, don't ask...). The tropper was right, there were hundreds of them ahnilating the base and the troopers with extreme prejudice. The troopers were doing their best, but without a leader things were very unorganized.

The battle was pretty much over 11 minutes later, until a huge triot about the size of a dump truck appeared out of no where. Russ made short work of him by picking up a rocket launcher and shooting it in its open mouth. Then the battle was really over.

But then, a flying saucer appeared out of thin air and a big-headed freak got out.

"YOU MONSTERS" it screamed. "How dare you! Arrrggghhhhhh! You despicable little creatures! I'll kill you all! Then I'll blow your planet to pieces like a hammer against crystal!"

"Blow this!" Russ screamed and fired the rocket launcher's remaining round. The rocket hit the thing square in the stomach and blew him to pieces.

"Good job Striker! Sorry for ruining your vacation!" One of the troopers said.

"Ah well, I had to get up in four hours anyway..."

The man who be Jack that done got his wish

Jack was a sad little person. At school when he walked trough the hallways, people would point at him and laugh. He had the kind of disposition where the moment you look at him, you think "ha-ha, what a dork!". Deed down Jack really wanted to kill everybody in the school who ever so much as looked at him. But he would rather not. One day things were really rough, he just broke down and screamed "God! Please have mercy on me! I hate the world! I hate everybody in it! Just take me to a faraway place where I can live happily ever after!" And, oddly enough, something did happen. All the sudden, a dragon came through the ceiling and when he breathed fire everyone instantly died a rather horrid death. The dragon then spoke to Jack saying, "your wish is granted" and Jack was teleported out of there. He arrived in a beautiful mansion in one of the many bedrooms lying on his four poster bed. Then, this incredibly hot japanese chick appears out of nowhere--in her panties! "I want you Jack," she said. Jack couldn't believe it. His wish had come true. So Jack and the japanese chick got in the bed and I'll let you figure out the rest. THE END

P.S: Oh yeah, and they lived happily ever after!

My first post!

whaz up people?! matthew g has arrived! this is my first post and stay prepared for many, many more.
Warning! May contain disturbing/ explicit/ offending/ or oddly innovative content. Viewer discretion is advised. ;)